As women—especially working moms—we’ve perfected the art of giving. We give our time, energy, support, and an embarrassing number of snacks. But there’s one thing we collectively struggle with: receiving.
It’s almost a reflex to deflect help:
“Oh no, I’ve got it!” (while balancing 37 things)
“You didn’t need to do that!”
“I’ll just do it myself.”
Sound familiar? Let’s explore why receiving is so hard—and why it’s time to embrace it with the same energy we bring to giving.
Why is Receiving So Hard for Women?
Many of us were raised to believe our value lies in what we give: our time, our care, our productivity. Accepting help can feel like weakness, or worse—an imposition on someone else. But here’s the truth: Receiving isn’t about taking; it’s about allowing.
Working moms, in particular, are Olympic-level givers. We give at work, we give at home, and we somehow give our best friend advice over a frantic text exchange at 11 p.m. We’re so good at giving, we’ve forgotten that receiving is a skill too.
The Art of Receiving and Giving: Giving Only Works if Someone Receives
Think about it: What if you cooked an amazing meal, and no one touched the food? You’d be insulted, right? (Also, more leftovers for you, but that’s beside the point.)
Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. By refusing to receive, we’re actually robbing others of the joy of giving.
So, let’s reframe it: Receiving is a gift to the giver.
When we let someone help, when we accept a compliment without downplaying it, when we say “thank you” instead of “you shouldn’t have”—we’re creating a beautiful cycle of generosity. The art of receiving and giving starts with allowing yourself to receive.
How to Start Receiving (Without Feeling Weird)
1. Accept the Compliment:
We’ve all been there: Someone says, “Wow, you did an amazing job on that project!” and our instinctive response is, “Oh, it was nothing!” or “I just got lucky.” Or maybe a friend says, “You’re such a great mom,” and we reply, “I try, but I definitely mess up a lot!”
That, my friend, is deflecting. It’s like holding up a compliment shield that bounces all that positive energy right back at the person who gave it.
Next time, try this instead:
Deflection Version: “Oh, it wasn’t that hard. Anyone could have done it!”
Receiving Version: “Thank you so much! I really put a lot of effort into it.”
Accepting the compliment doesn’t make you arrogant; it makes you gracious. (Plus, it’s way less awkward for the person giving the compliment.) Think of a compliment as a gift—unwrap it with a simple “Thank you.” Practice in the mirror if you have to. It gets easier!
2. Let People Help:
Ah, the classic “I’ll just do it myself” trap. Someone offers to help with something, and we immediately wave them off, thinking, “It’s faster if I do it,” or “I don’t want to burden anyone.”
But here’s the reality: By refusing help, you’re not only piling more onto your own plate—you’re also denying others the chance to contribute. Letting people help doesn’t make you weak; it makes you smart. It builds connection and trust, whether at home or in the workplace.
Try this:
Deflection Version: “No, I can handle it!”
Receiving Version: “Thank you, I’d really appreciate that.”
The world won’t implode if someone else loads the dishwasher or takes a task off your to-do list. (Even if they don’t do it exactly your way...*gasp*)
3. Receive Without Guilt:
We’ve all felt it—that little pang of guilt when someone does something nice for us. Whether it’s a favor, a gift, or an extra slice of cake, our first thought is often, “Do I really deserve this?” Spoiler alert: Yes, you do.
Receiving without guilt is about recognizing your worth. You’re not taking something away from someone else—you’re allowing them to give. Think about how good it feels when you do something kind for someone else. Why deny others that same joy?
Examples to try:
A friend offers to treat you to coffee. Instead of protesting, “You don’t have to do that!” simply say, “Thank you.”
Someone compliments your outfit. Instead of downplaying it with, “Oh, this old thing?” say, “Thank you, I love it too!”
Receiving isn’t selfish. It’s a form of connection. It’s a reminder that you’re worthy of kindness, support, and all the good things life has to offer.
A Challenge for All Working Moms
Here’s a thought: Practice receiving.
Let someone else load the dishwasher (even if they do it wrong).
Accept a compliment without a self-deprecating joke.
Most importantly, let yourself rest. Receiving can also mean receiving time for yourself.
Remember, you’re not just a giver. You’re part of the beautiful balance that makes giving meaningful.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to receive some well-deserved chocolate and a nap. 😊
About the Author
Hi, I’m Phallyn—a corporate veteran turned entrepreneur, certified Feng Shui & hypnotherapy expert, and working mom with over a decade of experience navigating high-pressure environments. After experiencing burnout and anxiety firsthand, I transformed my life using holistic practices and a commitment to intentional living. Now, I’m passionate about helping women, especially working moms in male-dominated industries, overcome stress and create balanced, fulfilling lives. Through humor, honesty, and actionable insights, I aim to empower others to stop surviving and start thriving.
Let’s create a life that feels as good as it looks! 🥂
Thank you for reading! If this post resonated with you, let’s stay connected:
🌟 Join UNLEASHED Essentials: Get exclusive resources and support for just $11.99/month. Join here.
📧 Subscribe: Sign up for my newsletter to get tips, insights, and a little working mom humor straight to your inbox.
📲 Follow Me: Let’s connect on LinkedIn and Facebook for more inspiration and behind-the-scenes moments.
Remember: You don’t have to do it all alone—invest in yourself and start living intentionally today! 🌿
Comments